Tools and Skills

Even though we are living in a world that is more networked than ever, the feelings or loneliness & emptiness seem to surface more and more often. It appears to be very difficult to face them head on and we have a mulitude of choices practically every second of our day to distract us from them.

Depending on our ways how we deal with our emotions we either internalise or externalise them, engaging strategies that temporarily help ease the pain of feeling them. And always we come to the conclusion that something must be wrong with us, we have not done enough, we are not good enough. There are this little voices in our head that immediately point this out to us and we even feel guilty of feeling these emotions.

This sets us up to either tending to give up and get lost even more in the traps of loneliness & emptiness or it triggers us to engage in again a new plan on how to conquer these parts of us that seemingly should not exist if you were to be a happy & successful being walking this planet. And we fall back in the trap of not being good enough.

Our social media, friends and family are full of positive affirmations that temporarily lift us up again and sets us up to persue this happiness only to find us once again that we can not hold the energy of happiness for a long time.

Emotions such as feeling lonely or empty are just energy parcels that are fed even more by avoiding them. I am not advocating that we have to become best friends with them, I am saying that avoiding, distracting & fighting them does not make them go away. In contrary, they might even come back to you later even more vicious than before. And the cycle begins again.

Many people complain about tiredness in today's world and do not know that their fighting, distracting & avoiding (which is mostly done unconciously and YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this) will eat tremendously into your energy reserves.

How to ease and eventually end this cycle

This is a simple list that can help you easing into a more happier, balanced & self determined life.

1. Knowing that you are not alone in this. Even though people do not like to talk about this, there is no soul on this world who has not either experienced it or is experiencing it right now. 
2. Becoming aware of when you are starting to distract yourself and WHY? This might take a little bit of practice. A simple question that you can ask yourself thorughout your day is helpful here: Why do I really want to do this right now? The answer is maybe not always nice and that is fine and the answer to the problem does not really lie in the answer that you have given yourself.
3. Patting yourself on your shoulder once you have got any answer. Why? Because you have started to interrupt the unconsciousness and opened a space for new discoveries of yourself.

Does this sound too easy? Yes, it is easy and maybe not always simple. It is a very personal path on the way to find your own personal strength, joy & fulfillment.